|me (dating a girl named liz and also taking a delicious lasagna out of the oven):||hey anyone want some liz on ya? well you can't, she's mine. hahahaha. okay liz you can go home now I only dated you to make that joke|
You know what language I love? Welsh.
can you not
you know our word for ‘microwave’ is ‘popty ping’, right?
this language is literally keysmashing
you know your self-esteem sucks when a really cute guy shows interest in you and you think it’s some sort of sick joke
“Women are more likely to be attracted to personality and men are more likely to be attracted to physical appearance.”
Woah maybe that’s because we teach women to see men as people and we teach men to see women as objects.
Ding ding ding ding ding.
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*